Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
