apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
