is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
