that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
