You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
