I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
