We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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