Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
