I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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