i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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