Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
