Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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