I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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