so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
