I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dicks are not precious.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
