I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
