Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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  (805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm
  Replies (24) Good night (6295) Bad night (631)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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  (386): you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt http://tfl.nu/6l3r
  Replies (9) Good night (1167) Bad night (3214)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
  Replies (17) Good night (6706) Bad night (2019)
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  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

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  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (11644) Bad night (1628)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.

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  (440): By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER. http://tfl.nu/qy49
  Replies (10) Good night (2030) Bad night (979)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

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  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (4012) Bad night (1106)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.

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  (360): My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals. http://tfl.nu/t5jb
  Replies (19) Good night (3921) Bad night (955)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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  (614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn
  Replies (7) Good night (1587) Bad night (935)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.

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  (850): I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl. http://tfl.nu/bohf
  Replies (7) Good night (1260) Bad night (485)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys

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  (240): i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys http://tfl.nu/z1wp
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (952)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus

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  (412): Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus http://tfl.nu/j3t9
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (280)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.

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  (403): Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up? (1-403): No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying. http://tfl.nu/1r8l
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (248)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks

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  (713): Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks http://tfl.nu/eb46
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (244)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...

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  (502): My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo... http://tfl.nu/eosy
  Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (316)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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  (719): I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch. http://tfl.nu/zn95
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (376)

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