Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.