okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
