Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex