I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme