i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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