I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself