got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.