Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table? http://tfl.nu/oj90
  Replies (37) Good night (4768) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1240) Bad night (3445)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  pop tarts are not kleenex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): pop tarts are not kleenex http://tfl.nu/wjj4
  Replies (16) Good night (1029) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (5067) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting. http://tfl.nu/foam
  Replies (7) Good night (4270) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs http://tfl.nu/dxeo
  Replies (13) Good night (8725) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758
  Replies (14) Good night (789) Bad night (6774)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself http://tfl.nu/tr5c
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (14) Good night (2146) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows. http://tfl.nu/qes9
  Replies (4) Good night (1527) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall... http://tfl.nu/rel8
  Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
  Replies (9) Good night (689) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS http://tfl.nu/9hqo
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot? http://tfl.nu/v4u6
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it. http://tfl.nu/cfzm
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (235)

Randomize