Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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  (360): two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it? (206): only if you didn't want to fuck up your life. http://tfl.nu/bqd4
  Replies (72) Good night (799) Bad night (8758)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

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  (913): I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture http://tfl.nu/ttvt
  Replies (46) Good night (522) Bad night (2822) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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  (402): New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area http://tfl.nu/w77p
  Replies (24) Good night (557) Bad night (4038) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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  (715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy
  Replies (26) Good night (2203) Bad night (3281) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head

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  (630): i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head http://tfl.nu/n75x
  Replies (85) Good night (7751) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.

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  (727): In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/1vdz
  Replies (22) Good night (933) Bad night (4313) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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  (305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix
  Replies (14) Good night (3864) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (1887) Bad night (771)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.

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  (604): So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer. http://tfl.nu/mgaz
  Replies (2) Good night (1874) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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  (708): you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group http://tfl.nu/bihz
  Replies (12) Good night (1260) Bad night (431)
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  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1396) Bad night (342)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.

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  (770): I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely. http://tfl.nu/2b5h
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

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  (770): Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week. http://tfl.nu/3id8
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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  (435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw
  Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.

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  (801): You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it. http://tfl.nu/4jnb
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (101) Order T-Shirt

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