Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
