new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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