i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize