Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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