Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
