So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
