Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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