watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
