i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
