I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
