Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
