Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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