I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
