shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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