You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
