What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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