So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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