so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
