i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
