I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
