I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
