I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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