i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
