remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
