never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is my gift to your gina
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
