Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
