i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
