Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There r osticjed everywhere
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
