I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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