Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
