operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
