I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
birth control should be required to get into college
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
