God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
