also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize