we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
