He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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