ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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