i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize