i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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