I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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