Having a random hookup so left but love u
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
