so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
