he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
