so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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