All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
