Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
