Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
