Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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