But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
