I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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