Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
